5 Very Good Reasons To Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth And Other Useful Guides

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9781449406752
Size: 27.83 MB
Format: PDF
View: 2814
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In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

My Dog The Paradox

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449437710
Size: 24.10 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
View: 1483
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This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449410499
Size: 50.83 MB
Format: PDF
View: 1159
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Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!

The Terrible And Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449461417
Size: 24.40 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
View: 1073
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This is not just a book about running. It's a book about cupcakes. It's a book about suffering. It's a book about gluttony, vanity, bliss, electrical storms, ranch dressing, and Godzilla. It's a book about all the terrible and wonderful reasons we wake up each day and propel our bodies through rain, shine, heaven, and hell. From #1 New York Times best-selling author, Matthew Inman, AKA The Oatmeal, comes this hilarious, beautiful, poignant collection of comics and stories about running, eating, and one cartoonist's reasons for jogging across mountains until his toenails fall off. Containing over 70 pages of never-before-seen material, including "A Lazy Cartoonist's Guide to Becoming a Runner" and "The Blerch's Guide to Dieting," this book also comes with Blerch race stickers.

404 Not Found

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781449480479
Size: 63.84 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
View: 4680
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Co-creator of the wildly popular Exploding Kittens card game and #1 New York Times best-selling author of How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You, The Oatmeal, aka Matthew Inman, presents an adult coloring adventure book filled with mantis shrimp, angler fish, bear-o-dactyls, space cats, and other fantastical creatures from the wonderland of The Oatmeal. Create your own Oatmeal masterpieces in 404 Not Found. In cozy Robot City, all robots are tucked in and accounted for, but #404 is missing. Is he searching for the city of Atlantis...or was he attacked by the shrimp known as mantis? Did he leave this worldly place...and find an evil race of cats from space? A fun, kid-friendly, safe-for-work coloring book, 404 Not Found is a magical story poem adventure to color and enjoy. A robot dot-to-dot and hidden objects throughout round out the fun! Relax and let your mind float as you color your way through enchanted lands with wondrous creatures from the brilliant mind of The Oatmeal.

How To Be Perfectly Unhappy

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449488595
Size: 28.77 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
View: 4076
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In How To Be Perfectly Unhappy, Inman explores the surprising benefits of forgetting about “happiness,” and embracing instead the meaningful activities that keep us busy and interested and fascinated.

If My Dogs Were A Pair Of Middle Aged Men

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449488676
Size: 58.42 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
View: 3882
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In If My Dogs Were a Pair of Middle-Aged Men, Matthew Inman imagines, to hilarious effect, what life would be like if his dogs were a couple of old men running around his house. The result is a pitch-perfect gift for any dog owner.

All My Friends Are Dead

Author: Avery Monsen
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 145213538X
Size: 71.62 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
View: 2263
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If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable.

The Book Of F Cking Hilarious Internet Memes

Author: Richard Face
Publisher: Oculus Publishers
ISBN: 1938895134
Size: 48.52 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
View: 2883
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WHAT THE HECK IS AN INTERNET MEME? Meme (pronounced meem): An idea, belief or element of social behavior spread that is transmitted from one person or group of people to another. This word was coined in the '70s by Richard Dawkins, the atheist godman worshipped by neckbeards everywhere. Simply put, Internet memes are memes that spread on the Internet through social networking sites, blogs, email, news sources, and so on. In the real world they're called "ideas," but pseudo-intellectuals prefer "memes." WHERE DO INTERNET MEMES COME FROM? Amongst all the stupid crap on the Internet are hilarious gems of wit and wisdom. Most of the best memes start as images shared on the Web and, by some great misfortune, they find their way into the lecherous hands of drunken basement trolls who mutate these images into the hilarious, the lame, and sometimes the downright bizarre. WHAT IS THIS BOOK? This book will take you on bizarre journey through the bilges of the Internet and introduce you to 23 of its funniest and most popular memes, complete with a sh*tload of images that might just make you wet your panties. "On this journey you will share lulz with unsavory characters like..." "Foul Bachelor Frog" "Socially Awkward Penguin" "Paranoid Parrot" "Courage Wolf" "Advice God" "Joseph Ducreux" "Hipster Kitty" "Inglip" "Successful Black Man" "Forever Alone" "Bill O'Reilly" "And more..." Scroll up and click the "Buy" button now to laugh your a** off at the twisted hive mind of the Internet underworld...

Should You Be Laughing At This

Author: Hugleikur Dagsson
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061284890
Size: 28.73 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
View: 2501
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Hugleikur Gagsson's Should You Be Laughing at This? has achieved revered cult status and taken the Icelandic publishing world by storm. Of course, Iceland is a country whose national drink is called "Black Death," national dish is putrefied shark meat, and national literacy rate is 99.9%. That may give you a small idea of the dark but brilliant mind behind the shamefully addicting cartoons in this book. From the absurd to the offensive to the immoral, Dagsson includes every taboo out there. And when you find yourself snickering and cackling, you'll stop and ask yourself, "Should You Be Laughing at This?"